Life is not so good.

Where to begin?
My oldest son, Brenden, is almost 13. I had him when I was 19. Unmarried. His father and I split up (finally) when Brenden was 8 months old. We went through a big ordeal (through the courts because he was unwilling to just work things out and come to a rational agreement). There are court orders in place for visitation and child support.
Been the same since he was 2.
Remember the part where I said that he's almost 13? Yeah. They haven't been working out very well.
The biggest problem is that Brenden's dad is unable to think about anyone but himself. He refuses to do anything that might be in Brenden's best interests, so I have been the one that's had to sacrifice things in order to make things better for the boy.
I have tried since he started kindergarten to get him to agree to cut out the weekday visits.
He refused. "It's not disruptive for him to see his father."
Um, really? When he doesn't get to spend two nights in a row at the same house, like, ever? I think it is.
Last year I agreed to let Brenden live with them for the school year and attend the elementary school over there.
Is it in his best interest to live with them? Only because it meant that he didn't have to make the jump to a middle school and because I was willing to allow him to spend the week at their house (they still refuse).
It was a trial thing. Just for last year.
It was incredibly frustrating.
Brenden's dad spends very little time with him. Like I said, his number one priority is himself. He plays in a few hockey leagues, works full time (hadn't been to a parent-teacher conference in years before this year) and generally has no interest in the boy. Step-mom works full time as well, so Brenden was spending time with a sitter.
Awesome.
Also there is the matter of involving the other parent. Did I ever get school pictures? No. (Actually I haven't had any for years because if they send them home with him on a day that he's going to their house they refuse to give them to me). When was I told about conferences, concerts, etc? The day before (if I was lucky).
I was ready to bring him back to our house after a pretty short period of time, but, AGAIN, I look out for the kid's best interests so I didn't force him to change schools mid-year again.
I told them on Friday the 17th that He would be living with us again this year and going to school over here. They flat out refused (and they have no right to do that). We talked for a while (with me standing outside, they won't allow us into their house) then set up a day for them to come over and discuss it further.
Instead of doing that, they got a lawyer.
They're trying to take custody away from me.
They say I have depression (was never actually diagnosed, but did take meds that I went off of over a year ago) and that my "psychosis" is preventing me from making good decisions.
I am pissed, but after today I'm actually more depressed than anything.
For some reason Glen had me schedule an appointment with a lawyer. We went in for the consult today, then ran all over the place getting documents we needed, etc.
Then he tells me we have no money to retain him so I'm going to lose my son.
I've been through this process before. Yes, they generally try to keep the kid with the mother, but you still have to have a good lawyer (no, not just any lawyer).
I don't know what to do besides kiss him goodbye.
We need $5k to retain him (and it's likeley to cost 2-3 times that for the entire case).
We have no money.
We have no credit cards.
My parents are struggling and have no money.
His brother has loaned us so much money that he took out a life insurance policy on Glen in case something happens to him before we pay his brother back.
I'm going to lose my son because I tried to do what was best for him when no one else would.
I don't know what to do.

not much to say

Sorry about the lack of blogging lately. Had a CRAZY week last week and didn't even get to spend much time studying for my classes.
I have my last full day of classes tomorrow, then a make up class next week on Thursday. After that I'm good to start taking tests. I get the feeling that I'm going to start studying tomorrow night and not stop until I've passed.
I'll just be so glad when I'm done.
This is all about real estate school for those of you that have missed that part.
I guess I need to go. I've just been informed that Tucker is in the other room coloring on my homework.

Oy. What a week.

Many of you know already that I started real estate school this week. Let's start with that story.
Why did I start? Because we've talked about it for years. Because we sure as hell need the money. Because the company that Glen works for is planning on expanding into property management and it's something that I could do, from home.
We've talked for weeks about this. I knew that the "crash course" started this week, but decided to do a program that runs three days a week for three weeks. That way I would have breaks in between days to study and work on my notes. It's been a long time since I've taken any classes that weren't craft related, so I didn't know how hard it mught be for me. School used to be easy.
Anyway, we finally get it worked out with Glen's boss that I'll start school on Mondya morning, for the three week program. When I say FINALLY I mean, FINALLY. After weeks of discussion and not until Sunday night (you know, the night before classes start) at about 10:30.
Yeah.
That was awesome.
My no longer being on meds keeps me from dealing with a lack of planning very well.
I get up on Monday morning. There is no information for me. I just guess that I'm supposed to show up and give them my name and they'll have my info in the computer.
I drive to the school, give my name....nope. Not in the system. She calls the other office. Nope. Not in the system. The girl at the desk suggests that I call the person that was supposed to pay for me. (Glen's boss).
I don't have her phone number.
Not given to me.
I go outside and start calling Glen.
Well, I go inside and call over and over.
The house.
Glen's cell.
The house.
Glen's cell.
About a dozen times each.
By the time he finally answers the phone, (He went ahead and slept in. I mean, it's not like there might have been any possible problems, right?) it's 8:10 (class started at 8).
I had already been planning on strangling him when he finally answered.
Okay, I was going to throw an effing phone at his head when I got home and he was still alseep, but it didn't work out that way.
He and his boss discuss things and she is supposed to have it paid for by the time I go in for the afternoon session at one.
I go back at one.
The card has been declined. My classes are still not paid for. They discuss things while I go to class.
When I'm done the girl that has been at the front desk is already gone, so I don't talk to her and find out what has happened.
Come back the next day and check in to see what's going on.
The card still won't go through. Because I now have the boss's number, I give her a call. Tell her I'll call her right back if there's a problem with her card again.
We run the card again. It doesn't work. I call back. She doesn't answer.
Seriously.
We finally decide that I'll just pay with my debit card and she can pay back with a check.
Totally get why she wants to use her business credit card, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!
So, at least now I'm paid up for school.
Wish I didn't have to make up a class, though. That will delay my passing the test.
It's going well otherwise. It is a lot of information to remember, and a lot of it is new terms, and formulas. I'm not to shabby with math, so that doesn't worry me. I used to be very good at memorizing things like vocabulary for tests, so hopefully that won't be a big deal either. A lot of the classes seem to overlap, so it seems to be getting easier as time goes on. Let's hope it stays that way.
This has taken a while, so I'm gonna get back to life and cuddling with my baby.
Just know that if I disappear for a bit again it's because I'm running around like an even more crazy person than I already do.