Miserable!

No. Not just the heat here. I am just not a very happy girl right now.
I've had a headache for days now. Totally from stress, so nothing I take makes it go away.
I'm just so very angry. So very, very angry.
My husband wonders a lot why I am so concerned about him cheating on me. I haven't actually found out about him cheating or anything, so it's not that. It's just that the things he does without telling/asking me or thinking about my feelings make me think that he would (and probably is cheating or has cheated).
I'm SO done with worrying about money. DONE. Holy crap. It has just sucked the life out of me. We needed money to pay the bills. I didn't want to, but I got a job. The problem is that instead of my income being what we needed to catch some things up and maybe get ahead, my income was it. He made nothing. He did nothing. He couldn't even keep the house clean or get himself or the kids dressed when he was here. He sure as shit didn't make any money, or GOD FORBID, get a fucking job already!
I'm sure I've said this before, but when you go someplace and don't make any money there, it's no longer a job. It's a hobby. It's nice that he has this loan officer hobby, but we're two seconds away from being homeless and he still isn't doing a fucking thing.
Headache. For. Days.
We even had a fight about this on Monday night. He talks about how he's getting up early to do stuff for the company he works for that pays hourly, blah blah blah. I had a Dr's appointment the next morning and he was still asleep when I left at a little before 9 a.m.
Wow. Way to make the effort.
He told me during the fight that he borrowed money from his mom. He's also borrowed so much money from his brother that he no longer feels comfortable loaning us money.
THAT'S HOW MUCH WE OWE HIM.
Does he ask me how I feel about this?
Does he ask me what I think we should do?
Does he ask me anything?
Take a guess at the answers to those.
Major part of the problem and also why I don't trust him.
I'd had my credit ruined in the past by piece of crap boyfriends. Didn't realize that I had to worry about my husband doing it.
I had been using any money I got for my scrapbooking to pay my credit card bills. Had them up to date, etc.
I took the job at Target and handed them over to him and he stopped paying them. Now my credit is ruined again.
I was literally JUST over my bankruptcy. Things were gone from my credit report and I was trying to build new credit and it's effing ruined again because I trusted him with my two credit card bills.
THEN, he asked me the other day if I still had the list I had made up a while ago of all our bills and debts. WHY? Because he'd like to know how much our bills are every month!!!
HE PAYS THE BILLS!! HOW DOES HE NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE EVERY MONTH!!
BLIND WITH HEADACHEY RAGE!!

AGGGHHHHH!!!
Seriously. I am just miserably ill.
UGH.

Sorry for the rant of random ragey thoughts.